Monday, December 29, 2014

Lost At Sea

I'm sitting waiting for my coffee at my Starbucks , thinking about today's blog . Lost at sea . Do you ever have that aching feeling that you belong no where? You've been left out in the cold , life just isn't panning out ? 

We stay up late thinking of what we have no control of ? 

The only answer is to pray . This has been my new hope and I have to believe in Gods purpose for me . 

What ever your purpose is ... Find your joy 

- Agent Orange 

Sunday, December 21, 2014

It's Today's Business

This blog is an open forum . I don't write about specific situations , I just want to gather years of experience and put into helping any one who needs it . 

I welcome comments and discussion . This is meant to be positive . 

Tonight I want to talk about society . Technology has taken everything away from us , in terms of love . 

I want to put this out correctly , I will say obviously I'm not perfect , no one is . We all make mistakes . Let's talk about what's forgivable . 

First off technology puts sex , dating and love at our fingertips . We lose respect for each other , we can't know character over text , or facial expressions over email . How would I know if your sad or happy , with out a phone call ? 

But yet instead of investing we jump to the next person , by the click of a button.

It's that easy right ? Do we have hearts or use them ? 

Friends don't disappear with out a sound, if they care . They have integrity  and communicate with each other . 

I have a friend , ok .. She's been seeing someone  a year , he gave her a cup for Christmas ( rubios ) ok . This isn't about being super facial , this is about matters of the heart . 

It's beyond me how people treat one another . They text instead of holding hands , we walk away instead of understanding , lie instead of telling the 
The truth . 

My point is , be respectful and honest . We're not Google clicks , we're humans and most of us aren't deuch bags . So please don't be one ... 
- agent orange 

Saturday, December 20, 2014

Russian Roulette

Today's blog : 

It's funny , this past week has been disheartening , and disappointing . But what I found is , I need to take my own advice . I read my blog from this month . Today's me needs to listen to past me . 

Conversation with my self . I realize how great my advice is and how hard it is to take it , when it comes to matters of the heart ..... 

You finally meet some one great , your becoming good friends .... And holt it's gone !!  

So this goes back to my blog waiting game , I wrote as advice to all others , but now it's written directly to myself . 

See the red arrows and that redicilous sign ? Yes , it's me ... 

Advice is : sometimes we don't have the answers , we lose sleep , feel sick , but we just have to move on . Try not to lose faith ... Right ? No matter how hard it is .

So my advice to all of you , is : follow your hearts theirs no regret in that ... 

Chins up - mine included 

Cheers -
Agent Orange 

Monday, December 15, 2014

Waiting Game

Today Ive decided to address the issue of stringing someone along ..... 

I'm sitting here listening to Melow music and I'm trying myself to wrap my head around this hard subject . Does he love me ? 

You've put everything into it , it's been many months of being friends and lovers. But where is this going ? You ask with no reply ... Your inbox is empty . 

So I need you to listen , ok . Go grab a pen and paper right now . Yes now . 

I want you to write down what your looking for in another person . Be realistic and truthful with your self .... 

Now go down the list . Is this person matching up ... Even better - adding up ?
My guess is probably not . 
The thing is you gotta look at you . It has nothing to do with them . Why are you waiting ? Maybe it's you that's not ready

I know , this person is so great right ? 
But would you be reading this if they were ? A person who is healthy , mature ,and has an open heart wouldn't keep you guessing .... 
So take a look inside , cut your ties and find your answer ....
- Agent Orange 

Past vs Future

So in the past few months I realized one thing that resonates to anything else . I need to share with all of you . 

When you meet new people it helps get to know the people in your past better . 
You ask me ... How does this make sense ? I will tell you . 

By examples : but it goes with anything .
Expample one : I met an amazing guy in February . Probably the first person I ever truly loved . I thought I loved in the past but I realized I did not at all . Maybe a part of me but not all of me . 

How does this pertain ? I'll tell you . In meeting him , he was interested in my heart not getting down my pants . Every guy - everyone wanted just down my pants . Never saw me as a person . 

This alone meant everything and we became best friends . Our relationship ended due to circumstances out of our control . But a month later an ex called me and said , " let's hook up " . 

The vast difference changed me forever . I also realized the difference of now what I was looking for . I would never settle again . Do I want to have sex with my special someone ? Of course I do . But that wasn't the point , I wanted someone to care about who I am and be a friend .

I learned from my past how to know my future . Secretly I was always looking for a guy to say no . 

Do you know what I mean ? So embrace your past and future . Meet new people ,open your heart . You might find exactly what your looking for . Whatever it might be . 

-Agent Orange

Thursday, November 20, 2014

Magazine society

Today lets talk about , other people , and why we shouldn't care about what others think . Not just the people around you but society in general . Society tells us how to look , act , and what to wear ... The list is endless ... Are we just trying " to fit in "

Everything boils down to our security . But being unique is what makes you amazing . I mean , who wants a cookie cutter society ? 

The only opinions that matter are those who will be attending your funeral . If this is not so for your audience of hecklers then don't give them the time of day . 

My point is - to be you . 

- agent orange 

Thursday, October 30, 2014

The Hard Facts

I want everyone to listen up and listen good . I don't care what the excuse is you find , you need to understand if he isn't chasing you or asking for your attention , move on . If they cared , loved you enough , or we're simply interested enough they would make it clear .( booty calls don't count ) . So listen unless you want to learn the hard way . Cut it and wait for someone worth your time .
It should go two ways between two people ...

- Agent Orange

Tuesday, September 16, 2014


Sometimes in any situation there is no control . Nothing can change pain , or situations . All we have is our friends , so lean on them . The one lesson I learned this month is love your enemies when they are down and out . Remember that , the love you give is in not expecting anything in return ( repeat that last sentence more than once ) 

If you can do these simple things , it will make the biggest changes in your life . You will gain new friends , new perspectives , and learn and teach unconditional love ;) 

- Agent Orange 

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

The Way They Are

Hello Ladies and Gents ,

Today's blog is called personally . Why , because this about dealing with people who do not treat you right . The guy who disrespects you , the friend who puts you down , even a boss . So first off the first thing we need to learn is do not take everything personally . I'm not saying some things aren't personal but so much that we take , we think is .

Everyone has issues , some people take them out on others . We feel down about it . Well , don't . You can't control nor take away others misery . My advice is stick around good people who love and support you .

You can't change anyone . The more you try the more you blame you . My advice is walk away with your self esteem and sanity .

- Agent Orange

Monday, August 25, 2014

Doing The Impossible

I watched the VMA's in horror last night , wondering what happened to music ? Naked woman gyrating about with lip syncing synthesizers , and layers of make up . I'm left asking myself , are we selling music , art , or sex ? 

We look down on today's teen girls and their 23 year old mini's they hide in back packs changing in the bathrooms , we wonder where it all went wrong ? 

Who are our role models ? I'm getting to my point right now .....

I spend maybe ten minutes on make up . Although I'm more tom boy then princess 
Don't get me wrong I have my princess moments . 

Even I ,not obsessed with main stream , find myself staring at these woman thinking .. Should I buy $500.00 worth of make up , try harder every day to look like this ? 

The world today is a magazine add . It's swollowing hearts , integrity , justice , and real beauty in this world . 

My point is what ever it is you see in the mirror , see it for who you are . Not the adds or gyrating princess whorres on MTV . 

Look for real beauty ! We can all teach young girls beauty comes from so many other things ... 

Believe in who you are ;) 

- Agent Orange 

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

The Big Lie

How to get over a lost love . 

I think many of us struggle with this one , on so many levels . If your talking real love , true love , well then .. You probably tried crying , panick attacks , movies , music , googling , writing , drinking , friends , dating , hobbies , no matter what we end up at square one right ? 

Sitting every where and any where in that one quiet moment where our ex love is sitting invisibly across from us , and it's just apart of our every day lives . 

We sit and count other exes .. They are filed away in the I can careless Q . But this one , this one sits quietly in our corner . We don't know why . And then again yes , we do . They had our heart . 

Fate is cruel master of deception . We wonder how she plays her part and why . But the only answer I have to the burning question you all have is quite easy . 

You don't . Don't let them go . 

They taught you to love so deeply , they are still with you . They got you to risk , they did a lot , keep your heart open . 

Hold on to their precious gift . 

That's my gift to you today ;) 

- Agent Orange 

Thursday, August 14, 2014

Set It On Fire

We wonder through our day , 24 hours pass us by so quickly . How many times do we stop to ask our selves about the relationships we have in our lives . Do we give to those around us ? Do we just receive what is given ? Are we numb ? 

Life is a precious gift we have one time . Do not let fear or pain rob you of the hour glass that streams effortlessly and unforgiving on your bed side table . 

Do not waste time seeking attention from people who do not care to give it back to you . Your past is your past , it's the old story , keeping you from the new story . I know , it hurts . It hurts a lot . But go ahead look in the mirror ... Look now ! Someone loves your eyes and your smile and if you don't believe me I promise it's true . As soon as you let go of what's hurting you , it will appear back in that mirror . 

Have you ever walked down a street reading a book ? Not noticing what's around you ? 
Your reading an old story and everyone is watching . Put the book down !!!

That love is waiting , maybe a new job , a smile , a joy , so many things . 

So go write down all the the things that are causing you sadness or pain since you can ever remember . Then tear it up ! Burn it ! Yes burn it ! And never visit it again ! 

Then write down new goals focus on those !!! 

Cheers to a new story !

- Agent Orange 

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Strong Words

Today's post is simple . 

Never settle 

- Agent Orange 

Sunday, August 10, 2014

The Point System

So I started a point system . Organizing your love life is possible .

Tired of finding Mr Wrong ? It's because you are simply disorganized ! 

Write down the most important things you are looking for in a mate . Top 15 things . Put them on a point system . For example mine 

1. Emotionally available - 5 points 
2. Stable - 5 points 
3. Likes music or art - 3 points 

You take most important things to you add up points . Then when you meet someone , just know they must qualify for that amount of points minimum ! 

Don't settle !!! Love organization !!! 

- Agent Orange 

Second Best

This is the best advice I'll ever give so listen close . 

You ready : 

Never ever fall in love with a taken person 

I know you can't help who you love . This is true . But they never chose you . 

Just move on . Suck it up sisters . 

Unless they come back single . Suck it up 
Find someone available ! 

- Agent Orange 

Friday, August 8, 2014


I'm currently standing in line waiting to get lunch for my co workers . Wearing a black suit and black heels , the line is long the crowd full of men . Let's talk about regret as I wait . Why am I reminded of regret ? Because as I stand here in a room full of testosterone and I'm being eyed like today's special I like to remind everyone why we should not regret anything . 

Why not be with the one we love ? Why not take that job ? Why not go for our dreams ? Why not go do that bucket list ? 

Do it !!! Whatever it is !!! Instead of dreaming do it !!! 
- Agent Orange 

Wednesday, August 6, 2014

It's just a Funeral ?

Your going about your day , the sun shines bright the breeze is cool . Your driving in your car . Your hair is long and golden blowing in the spring air . Skin glowing , the phone rings ... 

The music filters back to melancholy  back drop where moments ago it drowned out everything around you . Your heart drops . 

The blinders fall , the voice on the other end doesn't seem so friendly any more . They begin to tell you the story . About how one sentence falls to the pit of one's stomach turning to every regret , of why I didn't say I love you ? Why I worked so much and lived less ? Why I wasted so much time with people who didn't love me and left behind the one's who really did ? 

I should've fought harder ! Traveled more!
Stood up to my enemies ! 
But there is no time left . 

You hang up the phone . Realizing there's been a dial tone for a long while.

2 months to live they say . 

Live every day as if it were your last . Take your blinders off . Ask your self . If I called you what would you change today?

- Agent orange 

Tuesday, August 5, 2014

What Is Victorias Secret?

We all know the answer to this , but do we think about the answer ? 

We need to give men more of a chance ladies. . I think woman expect men to think like women do . We get our panties in a bunch when they notice our breast instead of our conversation . 

Men our visual creatures ladies . Us women spend thousands of dollars on fake hair , lashes and make up , padded bras , for what ? For men to notice our personalities ? 

Yet you get offended when they look at your breast ? 

Men in whole 100% in fact fall in physical attraction first . Then if your lucky emotional . Women are opposite . 

So ladies next time your new man likes your physical attributes don't be so offended ! Don't make your men into women and be patient . 

Just don't give up that booty ;) 

- Agent Orange 

How To Get Your Love Back

I find that in losing a lost love for any reason , we ponder day and night how to get it back . 

You can pray for the answer , google the answer , cry all night ... But nothing will help . In the end my advice is follow your heart . Fight for it one time and in that one time give it your all , and if it dosent work , walk away . 

If they love you , they will come back. . Otherwise you deserve more . I know it's hard . But if they love you the way you love them they will find you . I promise . If they don't , I mean really it's their loss .. 

Because you are awesome !!! 

- Agent Orange 

Monday, August 4, 2014


Advice from the girls on top : 

Never be with anyone who does not support you emotionally or puts you down . 

Always stay the path . It's better to be alone than settle . 

True love is out there 

- Agent Orange 

Sunday, August 3, 2014

The Real Deal

I can't stress this enough. The one thing I have learned in my thirty ( something years ) Is be your self. I learned no matter what when you are dating or , just out in life , be you.  We start dating someone new we dress their way, dye our hair a certain color. I am not saying not to be a better you , That my friends is a good thing. What I am saying is do not change you to be like them. For them to like you. The likeness should come naturally. We want acceptance so bad, and love , we do whatever it takes to get it. If that is the case they are not for you ) Love and acceptance should come naturally , flaws and all.  

Again , if your love makes you want to try new things , this is a good thing. I am not saying not to do that. I am just saying don't change to gain acceptance. From anyone. Even friends.  

I'll tell you a story. One day about 5 years ago . I had a terrible day at work. I was disheveled and my long blonde hair was in so many different ways. My dark brown eyes I am sure looked black. My mom took me to dinner at Claim Jumper. Their he was a 6 Ft tall dark hair , dark skin handsome man who stood before me. He worked their as a manager. He told my sister who also worked their that he thought I was a 10. 

I'm a 10? I laughed. My point is , where your head high, smile on and always believe in your self. Because you never know who might fall in love with you , I mean he did and were still friends today ;) 

Thursday, July 31, 2014

Keep It Fresh Girls ( sex)

To all my girls , prudes , straight laced , yes you ... All of you . Long term , marrieds and gf's , this is for you . Don't scrunch your nose up at me . I'm a master at men when it comes to this department so listen up !!!! This is sex it up boot camp!!!

Have you heard the term what peter won't do , Paul will do ? That goes for you ladies too !!! No matter what you think about your lazy dirty men .. There are woman , scantily clad woman , no panty wearing woman after your men . 

So , here's how to keep it fresh . I don't care your age , weight . 

1. Work out . Keep it real and keep it healthy 

2. Surprise him some where with sex 

3. Send dirty texts 

4. Send sexy pictures / videos 
Heck make videos with him 

5. Buy new lingerie 

6. Let him out w the boys !!

7. Go out on a dirty weekend 
Go to strip club why not go have fun 

8. If your religious no strip clubs lol 

9. Sex outside 

10. Blow jobs any where 

Start with these I know you girls are behind 

Ugh !!  

- Agent Orange 

What If Love Isn't Enough

I hate this saying . Don't you ? I never believed it , but it's true . This little blog couldn't hold enough content on the subject of why , love alone is not always enough . 

A. You may love someone you can't be with for a million reasons . 

B. you may love someone who just dose not love you back in same way .

C. Maybe you love each other but can't show each other . 

D. Maybe your with someone who resembles a parent who hurt you , your trying to work out your past ( heard the term you married your father or mother. ) get help or get out !!!

E. Abuse in any way . 

Some times you give and give your needs are not met . 

Some times love just ain't enough 

It's a very sad story 
Kleenex please 

- Agent Orange 

The Smile

I'm waiting at Starbucks . The barista is beautiful in her auburn hair and pale pink lips , blue eyes and tall thin body . The atmosphere is sophomoric the music is melancholy and I'm dreaming of my morning coffee and writing this blog in my head . The term beauty comes to mind .  How many hours woman spend to look beautiful in front of the mirror ... 

I sit here watching the girl behind the barista making my coffee .. Her hair a shade of pink I've never seen , her eyes a deep brown and her smile radiates the room . This my friends brings beauty to the whole place ... I guarantee she spent 5 minutes in front of a mirror and it's a great reminder , to lead your day with a beautiful smile . 

The other girls got nothing on you ;) 

Sunday, July 27, 2014

The Lightning

I think for me in my experience being I speak as closely as a man as any woman I know . When I see a guy I think within 5 seconds bang or no bang . The right of passage as a woman acting candidly on it , probability is a no , but I'm assuming men think on the same level . Now on the other hand woman are more ( I want to put this politically correct ) emotional  creatures . So our bang or no bang theory can easily go out the window as soon as a man opens his mouth .

Every day we get offered sex a million times by guys . By pigs , I can't tell you how us woman roll our eyes in groups at your stupidity . Yes this is what woman talk about . The low scum bag form of men , who instead of asking how our day is , say , " hey baby I'm gonna rub my cock on you ." Or " send me a picture " .  Now if .... We are in  pursuit of you  and have established this form of relationship already then this is fine . But really ? To just come up to new girl and say hey I want that pussy ?

I get it if a girl went up to a guy and said hey , let's bang , he would be ecstatic . But in real life that wouldn't last long either . As long as this blog excerpt . So I think every one here gets my point ....

It takes a little effort .

As far as love it can happen in an instant . For me it was like my title lightning  , and that it hit me all at once , It can happen for both men and woman . In there minds , and hearts .
Keep it classy .
The one for you will hear the song you play .

Bang bang
- Agent Orange

Ask Men

I have admitly read a hundred of those ask men articles for answers on just about everything . In retrospect I've learned with out reading all of them , correct me if I'm wrong .. Men are simple creatures . If they want it they will go for it , if they don't they won't . It's really that simple.  Sure there are and could be a hundred reasons why they won't . But in the end if they aren't chasing you does even one reason matter ? These facts I know are hard to face . Trust me . I face  them as well, we all do . Why he isn't calling , or why this or that . Unless your waiting for some answer , then you probably need to move on .

If he is in deed perusing you , well then may the force be with you , and by all means keep his interest .  Ladies you make so many mistakes . Also in long term relationships how to keep him from getting bored . Don't turn your noses up at me .  Because there will always be a pretty girl begging for your man's  attention ! So no matter how long you been together keep him on his toes girls !!! My next blog will be about how to keep it interesting .....

Saturday, July 26, 2014


Best advice I got was from my best friends ... A group of guys all very good looking , very rich and very bad boys . Best group to get opinions on for sex .

How to keep his attention ? Do not have sex ! 

What was that you say ? 
Do not have sex !

In fact do nothing for as long as possible ! 3 or 4 months . I mean it girls . You girls give it up to easy !!! Same for guys . Girls are tired of being treated like sex objects . We get offered sex so many times a day it's redic ! Hello !!! I am more than my female counter parts !!! 

So on both sides try to not to have sex ! You will thank me for it . 

The News

The News . 

It's not NBC or The New York Times , but to figure out simply if you are chasing someone you really got to ask your self the real question , is it worth it ? Do they love you ? 

This could be a yes or a no question . But what I do know is men should be chasing ladies at least in the beginning . 
No guy wants something easy . Am I saying play games ? Or lie ? No . I'm just saying don't be easy . So many of my girlfriends give it all up in the beginning and wonder why it ends fast ... 

No matter what , this one is not different . Do not be easy . If he isn't calling or texting .. Move on .... 

The lesson of self love and self worth is important too because confidence is attractive . 

I'm not saying don't put your self out there , I'm just saying don't be desperate . Let him chase you . Once game is on it needs to be equal . Let him be the man . 

I mean after all , we want him to be one . So don't nag him ;) 

Friday, July 25, 2014

How To Know ?

  • Why to choose ? You ask ? Why give up the freedom of free sex and no commitment? Because you will always have a void a dark space you are trying to fill. What is that part , that runs so far from intimacy    ... You are filling it with everything else but will never be fo filled .

Giving your self may sound like garbage I know ! I once mocked love songs and love stories I was that girl !!! I am still ... But the difference is .. I know now what true surrender means .

True love means joy in your day for no reason. . Purpose , you become a better person , healthier . More patient . You set new goals . You see the other person in the things you do .
You dream more . You become you . Instead of hiding . You have a best friend , you trust .

There are so many reasons . Trust me . You become brave. , you take risk . You are not a coward anymore. . Embrace it .

The Real Deal On Love

Does love need to be complicated ? I mean three day rules , who is chasing whom ? How long until we sleep with him . Make him work for it and above all else self respect girls . There was a time I admit I was dating 3 or 4 strapping lads at a time . I didn't care when I responded or who loved me . I was selfish . I traveled the world and I was beautiful and my ego was based on the attention I got from these men . I didn't care who I hurt and how I got it . It sounds aweful I know . It's funny , men tell me I'm gullable but I'm not I was on the other end . I was the player . I laughed at taking other woman's men and I was bad person . But ladies and gentleman that was years ago I'm writing this blog to tell the world what is and isn't worth it . I was emotionally unavailable .

I resorted to being single for 4 years and opened up my heart and decided to actually give this love thing a try . Guess what I fell hard.  For an amazing man . He is my world , for me to risk it all , I mean everything for him was huge for me . I gave  him my whole heart . Currently it didn't work out but I was at least brave enough to try . And the old me will never resurface again . Giving your whole heart is living .

Yes , my advice is to not sleep with someone until your in a relationship . Yes , do not give yourself just because you need attention . Give yourself because you love the person . If you love someone give 100% or you will never know what was meant to be .

Don't run !!!!

If your in something that's not 100% question it and walk away .

- agent orange

Thursday, July 24, 2014

What's Love Got To Do With It

This blog is a girls view on love . Honest straight forward blog . So please if you have questions or opinions please share .  I am 36 years old . I work hard and am very independent , I am also single.  For years I played the field and left a trail of broken hearts . I then got married to a not so nice man and divorced . Took 4 years off the dating scene and here I am writing this blog . Why you ask ? For three reasons .

1. I met the "one " the love at first sight thing I never believed in and yes I'm an unemotionally unavailable cynic

2. So far # 1 by my luck he hasn't come around

3. It seems many girls have this problem

Being I'm the most un romantic person I know and my #1 has changed my life I have decided to write this blog for all man kind as we know it . So other people may not suffer the same fate as I . Or will they ? I mean true love is a risk right ?  To finally risk it all , everything ? Life as we know it for " that one " person ?

To be continued ....