Thursday, March 23, 2017

Last Straw

I definitely haven't written here for a while . Maybe this time I'm reaching out to you . Only the people I care for the most will read this . I'm not the person who thrives on attention . I do my job , take care of my daughter , I don't party , I don't get to do most of the things people do as a single mom , but that's ok . I think I've come to a point in my life where I think of suicide . I think that I work so hard to get a different life and it's not changing . I live in hell . How do I end the fact that no one really cares , except my daughter . She is all I have . Everyone else wants something from me .

I feel like crying in a corner , I'm defeated . When most my friends call me the fighter what happens when there is no more fight . Fight to pay bills , fight for love , fight for my health . It's all failing .

I'm in such a dark place with out hope . God he is my hope he's saved me in everything my entire life but where is he now ? I haven't forgetton God is with me this is why I won't commit suicide he is my reason . But what do you do when your fighting with no wins ?

I've been swept under the floor like meaningless trash . By everyone that says I mean something to them . How do you live ? How do we keep going

Agent Orange