Saturday, December 20, 2014

Russian Roulette

Today's blog : 

It's funny , this past week has been disheartening , and disappointing . But what I found is , I need to take my own advice . I read my blog from this month . Today's me needs to listen to past me . 

Conversation with my self . I realize how great my advice is and how hard it is to take it , when it comes to matters of the heart ..... 

You finally meet some one great , your becoming good friends .... And holt it's gone !!  

So this goes back to my blog waiting game , I wrote as advice to all others , but now it's written directly to myself . 

See the red arrows and that redicilous sign ? Yes , it's me ... 

Advice is : sometimes we don't have the answers , we lose sleep , feel sick , but we just have to move on . Try not to lose faith ... Right ? No matter how hard it is .

So my advice to all of you , is : follow your hearts theirs no regret in that ... 

Chins up - mine included 

Cheers -
Agent Orange 

Monday, December 15, 2014

Waiting Game

Today Ive decided to address the issue of stringing someone along ..... 

I'm sitting here listening to Melow music and I'm trying myself to wrap my head around this hard subject . Does he love me ? 

You've put everything into it , it's been many months of being friends and lovers. But where is this going ? You ask with no reply ... Your inbox is empty . 

So I need you to listen , ok . Go grab a pen and paper right now . Yes now . 

I want you to write down what your looking for in another person . Be realistic and truthful with your self .... 

Now go down the list . Is this person matching up ... Even better - adding up ?
My guess is probably not . 
The thing is you gotta look at you . It has nothing to do with them . Why are you waiting ? Maybe it's you that's not ready

I know , this person is so great right ? 
But would you be reading this if they were ? A person who is healthy , mature ,and has an open heart wouldn't keep you guessing .... 
So take a look inside , cut your ties and find your answer ....
- Agent Orange 

Past vs Future

So in the past few months I realized one thing that resonates to anything else . I need to share with all of you . 

When you meet new people it helps get to know the people in your past better . 
You ask me ... How does this make sense ? I will tell you . 

By examples : but it goes with anything .
Expample one : I met an amazing guy in February . Probably the first person I ever truly loved . I thought I loved in the past but I realized I did not at all . Maybe a part of me but not all of me . 

How does this pertain ? I'll tell you . In meeting him , he was interested in my heart not getting down my pants . Every guy - everyone wanted just down my pants . Never saw me as a person . 

This alone meant everything and we became best friends . Our relationship ended due to circumstances out of our control . But a month later an ex called me and said , " let's hook up " . 

The vast difference changed me forever . I also realized the difference of now what I was looking for . I would never settle again . Do I want to have sex with my special someone ? Of course I do . But that wasn't the point , I wanted someone to care about who I am and be a friend .

I learned from my past how to know my future . Secretly I was always looking for a guy to say no . 

Do you know what I mean ? So embrace your past and future . Meet new people ,open your heart . You might find exactly what your looking for . Whatever it might be . 

-Agent Orange