Thursday, May 7, 2015


In 2 weeks I'll be 37 . Although I'm pretty happy with who I am inside I still have 2 goals to complete this year . 20 pound weight loss goal , and getting my own place . These two goals are close in accomplishment sometimes it's like sand slipping through fingers and sometimes as a single mom it's a struggle for my life. I don't know what it means to go out and have fun , have a boyfriend who who loves me or even have a simple bath with out a 3 year old yelling mom every 3 minutes . My stress level is more than through the roof . At work I finally broke down in tears , like that 3 year old little girl . With no one in the world to save her.

No one . No knight and shinning armor , no lightning from above pouring money from the sky . My friend from work marina said don't worry God will save you . In her Russian accent . I said when ? 

As the proverbial  walls come crashing down as well as my hard earned strength does as well . 

Will it come ? My dreams are so simple .
So today I decide to give those dreams to God and use my courage instead .

- Agent Orange

Monday, May 4, 2015

Kindness -

Warm under blankets fresh out of the shower , I was pondering today's blog . I'm listening to Jason Walker - Echo . Although it's not doing it for my creative mind so I'm changing it . Ender by Finch is better . 

I want to press upon acts of kindness . This past few weeks I've been under so much stress that 2 days ago I felt my heart just harden . All in all enough was enough in disappointments as they racked up faster than any football game . 

I was - defeated . Have you felt this way?
I try to win at all cost , rise above the storm , give my whole heart and - in an instant - failure . 

Your mood changes . Even the sweet laughter of my daughter couldn't break it.

A sweet woman at my work Marina did a kind act for me that day . In the middle of my work day and in an instant my hard heart disapated into ash . 

Did it solve my slow work week ? A break up ? My car working then not working ?

No . But did it make me forget ? Yes . 
Do you agree in small acts of kindness ?

For me it is the friend on facebook who surprises me at work with coffee on a bad day . Or a friend checking on how you are . A kind smile , a word of encouragement . 

How far can kindness go ? For your friends , family , customers and yes , even enemies . 

Try it in everything you do , you will be causing smiles every where and maybe one less tear 

- Agent Orange