Tuesday, October 27, 2015

The Plan

Life is a stage , play your part - William Shakespeare . 

I'm writing today from a dark place , I feel it inside . The past 4 months have been blessings from God left and right , then the month of October came crashing down all around me like a bad movie . 

We all know I'm first up to the punching bag and I'm not one to lose , so there is a lesson here . It's only at this moment it has come full circle in the big picture . 

In July I was financially so far behind I was pulling my hair out , turning in change for gas and eating snacks at work for meals . Things were bad . I was trying hard but nothing was working . I finally had that moment where I broke down and called my mom , " mom how can I do this another day ? I'm not sleeping , eating , I can't pay my bills , 
I just couldn't see around the next bend .

That very night was Raigans birthday party , I paid the last of the items for her birthday with about 20 bucks to spare . 

The party was over , my ex father in law came to me after all the guest had left the house and he told me God asked him to pray for me . I of course said yes ! I needed prayer . 

I sat eagerly , what was it God ? 
My ex father in law began to pray , he said God would bless me and not to worry and that I could find rest tonight . 

I was in tears . My ex father in law knew nothing I had told my mom or my situation , I knew it was God . 

My numbers began to go up at work I even made a list of goals to accomplish that I never could and through September I accomplished all of them but 1. I was so blessed . 

But I still doubted God in other areas of my life , relationships were failing , other things were happening I was wondering where are you God ? 
Then in October I had the worst sales month ever ! 

I then realized after a few events took place that God is here his hand is in everything . I needed to realize he is watching over me . 
Weather it's a bad relationship , friendship or work he is in it he is in control . October has been a hard lesson even though I'm in a dark place I know November will be better !!!! 

God has a future and a plan - never doubt it 

- Agent Orange 

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