My blogs are always honest and its me on paper . I think this is the only place my gaurd is down . Hopefully I can help someone out there . So it's 10:15 pm and the Killers are playing by head phones , ( guess what , they suck right now to ) hold on while I change this .
Ok The Used - poetic tragedy . Puts me at ease . Are you ready ? I wanted to talk about dating . Honestly I hate it . With all my heart and soul and guts and anything else I can throw in the dating blender .
I'll tell you why . You can tell me if you relate .
1. Am I pretty enough ? Is my outfit right?
Will he like me ?
2. Did I do ok ? Was I pretty enough ? Will he kiss me ? Do I care ? Will he call again ?
3. Why is he ignoring me ? Why is he needy ? No I don't want to be your girlfriend this fast . Can I find someone interested in me ? I write , would you even read it ?
So stressful . I never was too interested in a relationship . I like being single . Single girls are considered whores . Yes I been called a slut and a whore .
So here is where it gets almost so funny
Why is a girl a whore because she doesn't want a boyfriend ? Because I date ? Sorry to be disgraceful but I'm not opening legs , for every guy I go out with
And I think my real exciting life of work and Raigan gives me no time to see anyone .
So what is one to do ? What is the point of this blog ? I'll tell you .
2 years ago I loved truly for the first time
I met him and that was it . I never believe this love existed or that I could ever even feel this way .
I truly believed he was the one . Even though we parted , I have the standard of finding this again , and to never settle for less , so what is it you ask is the answer
I'll tell you , I'm not a hopeless romantic
The right person will feel right , they will read my writing , they will want to know me .
And we will be friends . When he calls me beautiful it will be because he knows me and earned it .
We will hang out and have fun , it will be seamless , it will just happen . He won't find me , we will find each other .
No I don't want to date , I want us to hop in my car , and see where it leads us .
Because life is passion and if it's not don't waste your time . I don't . I'm constantly moving in and out , weaving through seams of people .
Because I'm a whore ? Because I'm emotionally unavailable ? No .
That's where there all wrong . You see and that's ok .
I'm looking for the Lightning . And if it's going to be , then we will grasp fingers and not be able to let go .
Cheers to new adventures and one day find love again .
- Agent Orange