Friday, June 19, 2015

I Feel Fine

" I'm gonna die alone and I feel fine " 

1 month in 90 day goals . Tracking progress , my goal started out solely my fitness goal and getting my place . 
It expanded to no dating as well . 

Why ? 
Because A. You can't focus on said goals if you are putting time into dating . 
B. I can't give myself to someone 100% until these goals are fo filled . 

I knew this , as I know now . 
I'm learning that sticking to the 90 days is imperative . It's not because any one has truly crushed my spirit . 

This is about me not anyone else . 
I took 4 years off dating , now 4 months dating . All different scenerios . Yet I remain the same . 

Not that I'm the same person in my actions with these men . 1 was pretty special , the rest I couldn't tell you . 

But - how special could they be , I'm single . Back to my point , I need change so I can offer Mr Right my best . 

What happens if I meet Mr amazing in my 90 days ? Well I might screw it up , not really be myself because my goals have not yet reached the finish line . 

Maybe being left a little misunderstood .
Here we are end of month 1. 

I've only cheated once on my diet . I feel balloons falling from heaven and a good pat on my own back . 

2. I've been so much more happy . 
3. I'm having the best month I've ever had in sales . 

60 days are left staring at me in the face . 
I'm a lion , I will finish on the other side a winner and much wiser . 

Anyone who knows the real me has stuck by myside . Never leaving , never failing . Thank you . 

I need this to become vulnerable , un guarded , and ready - 

I've lost a lot , but I never settle . And everyone on this journey is a true friend . Everyone else - there fucking loss . 

- Agent Orange 

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