1+1=3

Have you ever heard of the term 1 + 1 =3 

What does it mean you ask ? 

When your on a path no matter where your at . Even if your not where you want to be , you have to set goals , change your mind set . It's funny because when you do this you create a new path a new energy and new people in your life ! 

To think is to create !!!! As you set goals and do better and meet cool new people do you find that some people who are close to you shut you down and as you take one step forward they tell you to keep one foot back ? 

This I call the ostrich effect . Why ? Because they have there heads in a hole. 

You are out making things happen right ? 

And when your energy is changing and things are going well , they are sitting back saying no , no . They call them selves friends . Well those well intention well wishers have become a black whole to your new energy !!! That you have created !!!! 

• Be clear about what you want.Live your purpose.
• Shift your mindset. Attract what you want.
• Create a support system.Surround yourself with great people.

When you get clear about what you want, you can develop the mindset to manifest it. Start directing your energy towards creating the life of your dreams!

Remember if your friends don't see the shift then steer clear of their negativity , Your on a roll now , you need cheer leaders , so go on and remember the best moments in life happen unexpectedly , when your open to change and your happy and moving forward . 

Don't ever look back when going forward we all fall just brush it off and keep going and leave those birds with their heads in the ground !!! 

Agent Orange 

Life As I Know It

I dream every day of a certain life . Do you ? What if ? Right ? I have my dreams laid out on blue prints . I day dream about being able to go to Sea Port Village on a rainy day and sitting in the book store writing as I watch the ocean . 

I also dream about living in a simple house on the beach . What more could I need ? I also dream about racing cars and owning a business . Wouldn't this be my perfect life ??? 

For me it would . But what if the destiny we dream of isn't our destiny at all ? 

What if our path changed tonight or tomorrow and everything we ever dreamed of changed ? 

Possibilities in life are endless - never keep your eyes closed . Always except new invitations to life , go with the ride 

Carpe Diem 

Agent Orange 

New News

I have not connected on here for a while and this was my dearest friend so here I am tonight - hold on while I find the perfect music , because we know this is most important .... 

Yellow card wins - How I go . Quite fitting 

The past few months , has been really strange for me , being these blogs are about setting goals and stepping out side of the box to accomplish something different . 

This year I set goals and accomplished almost all of them but 2. So something needs to change -now . Do you feel this way ? 

You work what works , and change what does not . I'm more than what my life is right now . I know this , so I need to become what I am . Make sense ? 

I am blessed I have wonderful friends that I've had for years . I urge you guys to start a thank you journal . Start small it opens you up to what you actually have instead of what you don't . Every day you write what your thankful for . It's amazing how your outlook changes . Go buy a journal keep it in your car . You don't believe me ? Try it . 

I urge every one to step out of your comfort zone . 

-Agent Orange 

Resolution

It's a half hour before work , I'm sitting in my car and I need to write to you this morning so here it goes . This week in 7 days I've heard from every ex boyfriend I've had from 18 years old up to my last boyfriend from a few months ago . This has been a strange phenomenon.  My friend Kristy told maybe there is a door that hasn't been closed . Maybe , there is something to that . 

I write this blog because I've learned a whole lot of lessons . Being a rape victim as a young girl I spent most of my teen years on meth trying to not feel much of anything and as far as emotions I had a no vacancy sign hanging around my neck for most of my life . 

I was good at saving you but not myself . As long as I was saving you , I was ok . But I was mostly jumping ship from one person to the next , never letting anyone close to me . So mostly the guys I adore are the same way . That is ok with me because I understand them . We have pain . 

Like one of my best friends said , Sarah , " Amy you always have your toes in many ponds ." This is true . 

There has been only one person who has captured my attention . 

One day 5 years ago God healed me of all of this . But is it still hard . Yes . Do I do drugs of course not . 

Do I want to be alone ? No . But I am . I'm guessing without knowing I'm still carrying that sign . But I don't want to . 

I've thought a lot about this , the past few months and this week . I want to be emotionally available . 

But how ? That's the next chapter 

Addict (1)

Grasping at tourniquets 

There is nothing stopping the heroine 

Decaying the heart 

One day at a time you see 

No pain killers 

I watch every tear attempt to escape 

But there is nothing 

I lose you again with every song 

I lose you again every time I fall asleep 

I lose you 

Tell me our story again 

I can't make it end 

So I re write it over and over 

To get my fix again / 

What's your Dream

I suppose as I lay here in my bed , under piles of blankets fighting off today's wrinkled faces and disasters and triumphs . I gained some things and lost others . Tori Amos ( The Red Baron ) plays aloud this time from my new iPhone 6 as I write .

The subject is the greatest wish -
What is your greatest wish ? A vacation ? A car perhaps ? To heal of some sort of deadly disease ?
Mine I've found to be quite simple but yet unattainable .

To love and be loved . Not the kind from family or children . But unconditional love from a man . I don't know what that means to have a best friend that's loyal who won't leave . Who wants to know me , who I can travel with . You know that guy . I see marriages taken for granted , people sleeping on couches , while The single moms out there go to bed with out any one really caring about how our day really went . Imagine that .

I can write a poem about loss , and revenge and fairy tales ........

It seems simple right . For all of us , I work 14 hours a day I'm not out looking , maybe something's aren't meant to be

- Agent orange

Butterfly Effect

Some words when spoken can't be taken back , walks on his own with thoughts he can't help thinking futures  above ,  but in the past he's slow and sinking ....- Pearl Jam

This blog is a little different than most . It's half past midnight , and this subject has been buzzing around to push my pen for weeks . Sometimes I can't locate my thoughts to map them out eloquently on paper , but I'll do my very best tonight .

As a Christian God blesses us with gifts . In the bible it states these gifts . Most people are blessed with certain gifts . I suppose if you don't believe in God or the Bible what I'm about to say may seem crazy but I'll tell you it's true . God blessed me with words of knowledge and discernment . Meaning I will know things about certain people so I can pray for them or help them in some way . Some times there strangers . I'll go to them tell them God asked me to pray for them for something they will be amazed I know something that only they know . But that's how God works . We are his messengers sometimes .
Lately I been wondering why I have this gift . It's been something that's been happening daily . I prayed , God gave me an answer , I wanted to share .


Every day we see people on the surface , we judge their intentions . We are quick to hate , to push away , build walls , and not help . I see it all day long . How many times do we hear he's a loser , fat , poor , drug addict , user , broke , ugly , who're , bad parent , stupid , idiot , list goes on . Right ?

We refuse to see the story or let's just go beyond that - how about let's try love . People are so full of their own pain and bitterness they just don't care about other people's pain .

Let me give you an example : there was a homeless boy , a group of people said lets help the boy , a woman stated , " no ! Why should I !, he's probably on drugs !"

Ummmm , I remember last none of us are without sin . Not her , not me , not you .
Jesus loved the murders , adulters , the sick , he loved us all .

I know I have this gift so I can see the hearts of people to learn to love unconditionally . Without reservation . Am I saying to be in an abusive relationship ? No . Or put yourself in a bad situation ? No .
What I'm saying is to love , unconditionally , your sin is not different then theirs . Guess what saved you ? Love . What will save them ? Love !!!!!!!

So before you call someone a loser -
Fat
Idiot
Stupid

Why don't you love them instead .

- Agent Orange