Slice Of Life

What is the truth ? 

I have no idea ? This is what I do know . Everything is about games and we question everything .... So here is my take on life , at 37 , but then again what do I know ? After 2 divorces and 40 boyfriends ? 

I probably know a hell of a lot . I have a lot of life experience . I've had great guys and not so great . I'm not a hater of men I've only been a hater of myself , this in its self is the only thing I can tell any one is a set back to any relationship . Because you will put up with almost anything . 

It's so cliche I know the saying to love you before you love some one else but it's true . This is my flaw loving me . 

Have I loved ? Sure . Have I had my one true love ? Sure . 

The one bit of advice I would give anyone is to be true to yourself first . 

Then someone can love you second , you know what I mean ... 

Kisses 

- Agent Orange 

Lost At Sea

I'm sitting waiting for my coffee at my Starbucks , thinking about today's blog . Lost at sea . Do you ever have that aching feeling that you belong no where? You've been left out in the cold , life just isn't panning out ? 

We stay up late thinking of what we have no control of ? 

The only answer is to pray . This has been my new hope and I have to believe in Gods purpose for me . 

What ever your purpose is ... Find your joy 

- Agent Orange 

It's Today's Business

This blog is an open forum . I don't write about specific situations , I just want to gather years of experience and put into helping any one who needs it . 

I welcome comments and discussion . This is meant to be positive . 

Tonight I want to talk about society . Technology has taken everything away from us , in terms of love . 

I want to put this out correctly , I will say obviously I'm not perfect , no one is . We all make mistakes . Let's talk about what's forgivable . 

First off technology puts sex , dating and love at our fingertips . We lose respect for each other , we can't know character over text , or facial expressions over email . How would I know if your sad or happy , with out a phone call ? 

But yet instead of investing we jump to the next person , by the click of a button.

It's that easy right ? Do we have hearts or use them ? 

Friends don't disappear with out a sound, if they care . They have integrity  and communicate with each other . 

I have a friend , ok .. She's been seeing someone  a year , he gave her a cup for Christmas ( rubios ) ok . This isn't about being super facial , this is about matters of the heart . 

It's beyond me how people treat one another . They text instead of holding hands , we walk away instead of understanding , lie instead of telling the 

The truth . 

My point is , be respectful and honest . We're not Google clicks , we're humans and most of us aren't deuch bags . So please don't be one ... 

- agent orange 

Russian Roulette

Today's blog : 

It's funny , this past week has been disheartening , and disappointing . But what I found is , I need to take my own advice . I read my blog from this month . Today's me needs to listen to past me . 

Conversation with my self . I realize how great my advice is and how hard it is to take it , when it comes to matters of the heart ..... 

You finally meet some one great , your becoming good friends .... And holt it's gone !!  

So this goes back to my blog waiting game , I wrote as advice to all others , but now it's written directly to myself . 

See the red arrows and that redicilous sign ? Yes , it's me ... 

Advice is : sometimes we don't have the answers , we lose sleep , feel sick , but we just have to move on . Try not to lose faith ... Right ? No matter how hard it is .

So my advice to all of you , is : follow your hearts theirs no regret in that ... 

Chins up - mine included 

Cheers -

Agent Orange 

Waiting Game

Today Ive decided to address the issue of stringing someone along ..... 

I'm sitting here listening to Melow music and I'm trying myself to wrap my head around this hard subject . Does he love me ? 

You've put everything into it , it's been many months of being friends and lovers. But where is this going ? You ask with no reply ... Your inbox is empty . 

So I need you to listen , ok . Go grab a pen and paper right now . Yes now . 

I want you to write down what your looking for in another person . Be realistic and truthful with your self .... 

Now go down the list . Is this person matching up ... Even better - adding up ?

My guess is probably not . 

The thing is you gotta look at you . It has nothing to do with them . Why are you waiting ? Maybe it's you that's not ready

I know , this person is so great right ? 

But would you be reading this if they were ? A person who is healthy , mature ,and has an open heart wouldn't keep you guessing .... 

So take a look inside , cut your ties and find your answer ....

- Agent Orange 

Past vs Future

So in the past few months I realized one thing that resonates to anything else . I need to share with all of you . 

When you meet new people it helps get to know the people in your past better . 

You ask me ... How does this make sense ? I will tell you . 

By examples : but it goes with anything .

Expample one : I met an amazing guy in February . Probably the first person I ever truly loved . I thought I loved in the past but I realized I did not at all . Maybe a part of me but not all of me . 

How does this pertain ? I'll tell you . In meeting him , he was interested in my heart not getting down my pants . Every guy - everyone wanted just down my pants . Never saw me as a person . 

This alone meant everything and we became best friends . Our relationship ended due to circumstances out of our control . But a month later an ex called me and said , " let's hook up " . 

The vast difference changed me forever . I also realized the difference of now what I was looking for . I would never settle again . Do I want to have sex with my special someone ? Of course I do . But that wasn't the point , I wanted someone to care about who I am and be a friend .

I learned from my past how to know my future . Secretly I was always looking for a guy to say no . 

Do you know what I mean ? So embrace your past and future . Meet new people ,open your heart . You might find exactly what your looking for . Whatever it might be . 

-Agent Orange

Magazine society

Today lets talk about , other people , and why we shouldn't care about what others think . Not just the people around you but society in general . Society tells us how to look , act , and what to wear ... The list is endless ... Are we just trying " to fit in "

Everything boils down to our security . But being unique is what makes you amazing . I mean , who wants a cookie cutter society ? 

The only opinions that matter are those who will be attending your funeral . If this is not so for your audience of hecklers then don't give them the time of day . 

My point is - to be you . 

- agent orange