So Far - The Hit it And Quit It

This blog is never intended on my writings to be on present day . It's an advice blog for over all learned wisdoms from my path as well as others . 

My 90 day goal I will document because I feel like it's imperative to learn about thinking outside of the box . Seeing life out side of who you are ...... 

Remember my blog about finding your perfect match ? I told you to write what you wanted down . 

See the picture of your life - and live it .

90 day goal for me and my dear friend Sarah Mikel has become being the list of the best match for our selves . You can't be the star in someone's sky if your not your own in your own sky . 

Sarah gave perfect analogy today . If you take 1 empty glass who comes to another empty glass there both filling voids with out side things . Never ever being able to be happy and fullfilled . Those 2 glasses will never fill each other either . 

If your glass is full then you don't need to take from anyone you have what you need to be happy and then you can give that happiness to your other full glass . 

Make sense ? 

Dating has been disappointing because when it fails I think - was I too ugly ? Boring ? Whatever it may be , it's disappointing . Right ????? How did I come up short ??? 

The full glass thinks - who gives a shit there loss because I'm pretty awesome .

This is where my 90 days needs to take me . I've been through hell and back I'm pretty amazing , I shouldn't be racking my brain over what coulds or couldn't of been . 

We're focused and determined , to be the vision I see myself - for - someone else . Make sense ? 

Now we got this far - single or not get a pen and paper ...... Go - I'll wait here for you . 

Write down your top 3 goals / priorities . 

Do it !!!!! 

No one is perfect were not looking for a perfect you , just a happy you . 

Cheers to 90 days 

- Agent Orange 

Goals

My 90 day hiatus is working out just great I urge everyone to do it . Maybe not for the same reasons but for goal oriented ones . 

For me I have not taken any time aside for my most important goals and they have come second , third , or fourth to piles of other priorities of job , being a mom and financial stress . 

Not to mention do I get to see my friends or go on a date working 14 hours a day and trying to be this mom , and gym rat ? 

Nope ....... 

I'm tired , worn out and broken . 

I took 4 years off dating I started back up 4 months ago . I met some nice people and some crazy people all in all I'm shelving dating for 90 days to focus on priorities . 

90 days in gym , no matter what . 90 days financial freedom . 

These two things I need now . For me and my kids . 

Love can come later . I didn't need a picket fence any way , is it so hard to find someone to share dinner with and covers?

 There's 2 months left 

Carpe Diem 

- Agent Orange 

Can You ~ Handle The Truth ?

Blog Stream : The Brand New.


Advice Blog on life, love, sex, and anything else we can get our hand on. Tonight we will talk about something simple. Integrity.

In life we come across choices . We make several a day . What coffee to drink, what to do at our meetings with our clientele, How to handle a fight with a co worker , How to talk to our fiends. List goes on .

The one thing I tell my friends always under any circumstance is to never lie. Never steal, Never cheat out any one. The only thing a man has is his word. If you do not have your word what then does a man have?

In a marriage with no trust , what foundation do you have ? None.

In a war , you have 2 soldiers out on the field alone . With out trust , can they survive ?

If your kids can not trust in their parents word , whose word can they trust ?   If I tell you I give you my word and i do not follow through , then my word means nothing. Even if it was not as important to me as it was to you, I need to follow through . It was my word.

If I say I love you or I care but do nothing to follow through on my word , what do my words mean ? Nothing.

In today's society we throw out our words with no intention of follow through. There is no brother hood, no commodery , no integrity. We live in a world of takers. Love is not built and friendships do not last.


We wonder why marriages break up, our dating lives are a joke or our friendships aren't what they should be.  Be the person you should be with out expecting a return.

I'm tired of hearing screw everyone because I've been screwed. ....

You see - 

Life is a stage , what is your part ? We live once . To inspire , to create beauty, love, joy,

be true to yourself not your pain or your wounds. Feel something and don't be afraid to do it. Go out side of your box today. Meet a stranger and learn something about them.

Keep your integrity.

~ Agent Orange

On The Contrary

It's cold out side , the rain is streaming from unforgiving clouds as I play Finch - Ender , on my phone . 

This blog is an advice blog and as I sit alone in this hotel room I'm trying to gather my own wisdoms to get me home today . 

The real journey is our silent one . The one we walk alone . So many people think for instance I'm searching for love .

Indeed I'm not seeking it out , I just want to find it in a passing crowd - and hold its hand . 

I fly a thousand miles and I find myself here writing you . 

Because what I do know is, I find myself grabbing at finger tips as one is always letting go - 

I have no answer . I do know that I found myself in a pile of tears last night , not because I'm confused or lost , but tired 

Tired of being another face 

Among a hundred faces 

In the crowd 

- Agent Orange 

Childs Love

As I leave my daughter this morning at pre - school something happened as we did our morning routine of giving each other's hands about a thousand kisses ( in case we miss each other later we have extra kisses ) we hug and say our sweet good byes . Raigan is almost 4 and she's pretty smart and emotional . 

When she first started in school she would scream so hard and cry I couldn't bear it . The teacher would have to hold her back and all the kisses in the world wouldn't help . I would digress to my car in tears . In all the turmoil she was in , I swear I was in more watching her cry . 

Did anyone understand the pain mothers go through ? I wanted to save her so bad 

I couldn't . 

The days went on and on , crying and crying every day . One day I thought to do something silly as she watched me walk away , I danced shaking my booty shamelessly in the parking lot in my Jammie's . She laughed so hard . Along with 50 other kids , as parents stared in judgement , I didn't care , it took her pain away . Every day I've danced for her .

This morning she didn't ask me to dance as I walked away . I was glad and sad . It's been 2 1/2 years today nothing . I walked away thinking my baby growing up . 

As I made my way down the hall I heard her screaming and crying I ran back asked her what's wrong as tears streamed down her face , she said , mommy you didn't do the booty dance !

I hugged her , and danced . I was almost relieved . 

It's funny how much we love our children and how much these small things mean to us , even if it's a booty dance . 

It's love 

- Agent Orange 

37

36 has come and gone . This past year has been the most amazing and the most heart breaking . 

I've found myself in situations I never thought I would be brave enough to ever stand to do and at the same time left situations I never thought I'd have the courage to leave . 

Starting beginning of last year I had to say good bye to the most amazing man I ever met . Flying to Colorado to do it , driving race cars and going home . 

I had an amazing fun job driving 200k cars racing on freeways with my best friends staying up all night laughing . 

I had hard times as a single mom when months were slow , or hurting my back and my trainer trying to get me back to health . Teaching me how to be strong physically and mentally . What a rough journey it's been . 

Also  finding myself on my knees praying as a single mom working 300 hours a month trying to pay the bills trying to make it to the gym , trying to see my friends and love my kids , find love all over again . 

Yes in 2 weeks I'll be 37 , I have a new job . It's the people who love us who help me get through . 

May we reach every goal this year - 

- Agent Orange 

The Real Deal

I'm curled up on the couch it's cold outside . Today I feel like Carrie Bradshaw and us girls wonder how to know the real deal . 

I once shared Pad Thai with a handsome man whom was married he told me , " Amy , every man holds a deck of cards , they are all playing a hand ." 

I've definitely lived some years playing my own . Left a trail of broken hearts , but what happens when that heart is yours ? 

How do we set apart our men as kings or jokers ? 

There's 2 parts to this I want to direct your attention too . 

1. You may have a king , he may just not be meant for you . 

2. You may have a joker indeed . 

A. You may have a joker , he tells you he does not want commitment in the beginning , he is honest . But you have some sort of I can change him ear plugs on . This is not the jokers fault . Sorry girls . 

B . You have a joker he tells you but you catch feelings . Well it happens . If joker does not have feelings back not jokers fault . 

C. You have a king he is perfect and your perfect but your not perfect together . 

Sad story . 

D. This is where is gets tricky your dating you don't know what the intentions are .

You don't know the hand . This is where the late conversations come in . What do I do next ? 

I feel like at this point if he's nice or she's nice and there confusing you , at this point they could hold anything right ? 

Maybe there scared ? But wouldn't a king make you feel safe ? Don't stay at this place for to long . You might have a losing bet 

- Agent Orange